I had so many questions following my pancreatic cancer diagnosis earlier this year.

Some of the questions were:

How did I get cancer?
Will I live long enough to see my son again?
Will I live long enough to celebrate my 59th birthday?
What are my options for treatment and healing?
Will I lose all of my hair?

I had so many questions. Only time will tell for some of the answers.

The good news is that I was able to see my son twice, which was a real blessing since he is in the military and lives 1,000 miles away. I also celebrated my 59th birthday in March and am planning an extravaganza for my 60th in 2020.

The angels wanted me to focus on healing instead of being “sick.” They wanted me to journey with cancer for what it had to teach me and not to dwell on the diagnosis or “fight” it. They encouraged me to trust, surrender, and embrace the transformation. You can find out more about the angels on my website if you are interested.

Many times a day I meditate or think about my healing journey.

My thoughts include:

How do I want to feel?
What can I do in this moment to flourish?
What do I need?
What do I want to eat or drink when I feel better?

I envision myself healthy, whole, and complete.

As I mentioned in my last blog, my word of the year for 2019 is Flourish, and that is my guidepost. I envision myself being vibrant and radiating health.

Another thing the angels were clear on is that I was to name my port. A port is a device implanted in your chest to allow easy access for chemotherapy and blood withdrawal. They wanted me to name my port Esperanza which is Spanish for Hope. I thought that was so perfect. I’m not Hispanic, nor do I speak Spanish, but when the angels made such a specific request, I listened and followed their guidance.

I am using a journal by Gabrielle Bernstein called “The Universe Has Your Back.” When I began writing about the port and her name, pre-printed in the journal on that specific page were the words “Hope is the conduit for miracles.” Wow! Hope (Esperanza) is the conduit for miracles and she is the conduit for my chemotherapy. Just magical! I envision healing taking place while receiving my treatments. I visualize tiny little fish eating away at the tumor; think Swedish Fish (the candy).

This journey with pancreatic cancer is an opportunity to experience immense gratitude.

I appreciate the gift of the day (even when I am not feeling well) and trust that better days are ahead. So many people are sending love and light and prayers, as well as, physically doing things for me. I receive cards regularly which boost my spirits. People send the gift of food or gift cards, which make things easier for my husband and me. I am humbled by such generosity and ever so grateful.